


Papa Roach One-Shot #1

by ObessedWithAdamWadeGontier



Category: Papa Roach
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Love in a Demented Way, Love/Hate, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-30 22:31:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObessedWithAdamWadeGontier/pseuds/ObessedWithAdamWadeGontier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanted to do some sad romance, so I did one on Papa Roach since I was listening to them. Enjoy & comments are appreciated! Cx</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

¡Papa Roach! One-Shot 

Lionel: 5'6. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Tomboy. Fourteen. Black framed nerd glasses.

***

Lionel cried, she had so for many days, her friend. Her best friend was dead, she listened to a song that reminded her of him. 'I'll always be there for you.' He'd say, it was lie, one she believed. Lionel had cut him out her life, & over what? His girlfriend. Lionel lost a part of herself that day she heard the news.

'Everybody told me.  
Everybody told me that this would happen.  
I didn’t wanna believe.  
I didn’t wanna believe that you were right.  
I was so caught up.  
Caught up in a world that I cut you out of.  
And now I’m hating myself.  
I’m hating myself.  
I never should’ve shut you out.'

Lionel repeated that line, 'I never should've shut you out,' over & over until the words truly struck home. She screamed, stood, & chucked a picture of her & him across the room. Even over the blaring music she heard it crash against the wall. Lionel lost it, destroying everything in her room. She was happy her family was off on a vacation, not knowing anything about their daughter or her demons.

'We are the walking dead.  
Swallow the lies we’re fed.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover the truth and you’ll realize.  
We’re hanging by a thread.  
We are the walking dead.'

"Why? Why did you leave me?! I hate you, I hate you so much!" She wailed throwing herself to the hard wood floors. Tears streaming down her face as she yelled at no one. Lionel's attention fell upon a mic stand, & signed guitar he had given her for her birthday. On her birthday the same day he died. 'Be careful,' Lionel warned him as he handed over his present. He laughed, 'I will Lion, I promise.' Yes he lied, humans do that but, he lied about something serious. Life or death, he promised not to drink & drive...

'It might take some time.  
But I really think we can start things over.  
Take a look out our lives.  
Take a look at how fucked up we’ve become.  
In the blood shot eyes.  
All I see is pain and devastation.  
And now I’m hating myself.  
I’m hating myself.  
I never should’ve shut you out.'

Lionel stood once more, fists clenched tight, "YOU PROMISED!" Tears blurred her vision as she punched a hole through the wall, her hand on fire, yet the pain dull. She flipped her bed, broke her t.v & dresser, ripped all her clothes. 'Where I'm going, I won't need these,' she thought stopping at one article of clothing in particular. His sleeveless black vest he wore at a concert back in 2009, he was sick earlier, & his voice straining as he sang, 'I Almost Told You That I Loved You.'

'We are the walking dead.  
Swallow the lies we’re fed.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover the truth and you’ll realize.  
We’re hanging by a thread.  
We are the walking dead.'

She slipped it on, just now noticing her bloody hand, she clenched & relaxed it, the pain shooting through her hand, she crumpled to the floor. She held her injuried hand, her walls showing all memories created with him. Lionel sobbed, she screamed into the shirt. She wanted to end it, but how? He meant the world, she never knew if he loved her the way she did him. He a rockstar, her an outcast. She lost her world, her sanity.

'Can anything bring us back to life.  
Will anything make us right.  
Can anything bring us back to life.  
Or will it make us right.  
Cause I’m finding that we’re falling apart.  
More than it breaks my heart.'

"We fell apart, & fuck yea, it broke this fragile heart of mine," she said mutely. Lionel fished a lighter out her pocket, looking at the flame. Lionel wished many times to hate him, but she loved him too much. 'Love, Hate.' Was how he always put it, & Lionel had to agree, no matter how much she wanted to argue.

'We are the walking dead.  
Swallow the lies we’re fed.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover the truth and you’ll realize.  
We’re hanging by a thread.  
We are the walking dead.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover the truth and you’ll realize.'

"Cover the truth? Yea, right," she snorted with an eye roll. "Now the walking dead, I must agree my lyrical genius friend." Lionel piled up all her sketches, except the ones of him. She smirked, pulging up all the holes with towels. Lionel grinned, & threw the lighter onto the pile of papers, watching it burn, gray smoke swirling around her room.

'We are the walking dead.  
Swallow the lies we’re fed.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover your eyes.  
I’ll cover the truth and you’ll realize.  
We’re hanging by a thread.  
We are the walking dead.'

Lionel fell onto her hands & knees, coughing & sputtering on the smoke of death. She began coughing up blood, she'd gotten sick after the tradgetic news.

'We are the walking dead.'

Lionel laughed darkly as she rolled onto her back, blood seeping from her lips. She stared at the ceiling, tears of joy falling as she slowly died. Lionel could feel it. Her body shutting down slow, & painful. Her throat, nose, & lungs burning from inhaling the intoxicating, yet tainted air. The pain in her hand dulling once more, numbness consumed her. Lionel folded her hands behind her head, looking at the flames, then slowly closing her eyes as she returned to face the ceiling. Lionel chuckled a dark, demented chuckle.

"I'll be there soon... oh so soon Jacoby..." she said just as the flames engulfed her. They ripped a blood curtling scream from her lungs, she laughed, ignoring the most unbarable pain. 'It hurts- hurts sooo good!' Finally, her heart gave up.

~The End~


	2. One Week Earlier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Years for Lionel.

~One Week Earlier~

They spent it together, Jacoby, & Lionel spent New Years together. Lionel darted in & out the crowd of people in the heart of New York, all anticipating the ball drop. Lionel finally found her other roach family; Tobin, Tony, & Jerry. They smiled at Lionel & her panicked stricken eyes.

"Jacoby's with Kelly," Tony yelled over the crowd. Lionel's heart sank, tonight was the night she was going to tell him her feelings. Fans agreed, they saw 'the spark' between them, could they have been wrong?

"No, stop thinking that," Lionel muttered as Jacoby's black hair came into view. There was Kelly, curled up under his arm as they gazed at the stars. Lionel turned on the heel of her shoes, about to leave before-

"Lionel! Hey, thought I'd lost yah!" Jacoby exclaimed, arms thrown in the air. Kelly followed her drunk boyfriend as he threw his arms around Lionel's waist, lifting her up & hugging her in a vice grip.

"Can't breath- Jacoby!" Lionel croaked out, Jacoby chuckled against her ear & set her down. Lionel swished her hair out her eyes, "Kelly, hey!" She said generally happy. Kelly was beautiful, tatted like Jacoby & it only made her prettier. Her petite figure & colored eyes, her toothy smile. Lionel was always jealous of her friend, granted the age difference they were peas in a pod. Lionel hated being jealous of someone so kind, so lively.

"Lion, I was looking for you earlier, where were you?" She asked smiling.

"On the bus, needed sleep from all the touring. Sorry, if I'd known-" Kelly held up a hand.

"I understand," she said wrapping an arm around Jacoby's waist, "Jacoby wants to sleep almost always, it pains me to see any of you like that. But luckily, the tour will be over soon. How long do you guys still have?"

"One week. Can't wait to sleep in at the P-Roach mansion," Lionel answered as she eyed a wobbly Jacoby. Her eyes flickered as the crowd roared with happiness, she looked to see the ball had fully risen, all lite up & a true spectacle to be witnessed.

"Where yah goin' Lion?" Jacoby slurred, he lerched forward & stopped the young roach with a hand on her shoulder. Lionel felt her eyes water but, he, or anyone else wasn't allowed to see her cry. She slyly pulled away, looking at the ball once more before glancing over her shoulder.

"Uh... the bus, don't have anyone to kiss, or celebrate with- Im'ma just go to sleep," Lionel responded with a yawn. "Remember Shaddix, don't drink & drive." Jacoby released her & watched as she disappeared, he was drunk but knew something was off with their- HIS newest roach.

"... but what?" He asked himself quietly. Kelly interwinned their fingers, Jacoby shrugged it off & smiled at his girlfriend. Her eyes flashing all the colors of the ball as it dropped.

***

Lionel sat on the steps of the Papa Roach tour bus. Hands on her bent knees, head being held by them as she gazed up at the ball. 'New Year's resolution?' She thought.

"Hide my feelings from all," Lionel muttered & hid her head in her clothed arms. She stayed like that for a minute, until the familar ten second count down began. Lionel lifted her head as if it weighed a ton, a Mr.Shaddix stood in front of her.

"Lionel, why is it you're here?" Jacoby asked, words still slurring slightly. Lionel laughed, 'If only he knew.'

"Where's Kelly?" She asked raising a brow. Jacoby nudged his head back in the direction of drunk & screaming spectors. All trying to find someone to kiss.

"Said I had to take a leak," he answered, hands in his pockets.

"How gentlemen like, here let me move-" Lionel began. Jacoby pulled her onto her feet.

"Nah, I came to see what was wrong?" He said serious. 6... Lionel blinked at him, 5...

"Nothin," 4..., "I'm fine, really." Jacoby gripped her wrist.

"You've been different, what's wrong?" He asked close to scolding her. 3... Lionel felt her eyes water, quickly she wiped away the tears. 2...

"Do you-" 1... Ballons & confetti engulfed them, Jacoby pressed his lips to Lionel's softly. His grip lessening as his hands fell to her waist, grounding her there as he moved his mouth against hers. Lionel kissed back like her life depended on it. It did, hopefully all her feelings were being expressed through the damn uncordinated kiss.

He pulled away, lips slick with salvia, "Happy New Years." He said breathless. Lionel smiled, "Also, Happy Birthday." Lionel completely forgot her birthday was the next day, it was 12:00 so techincally it was today/tonight.

"Thanks Jacoby." Lionel smirked, it faded quickly as she pulled away. "Wait- Jacoby..." he was drunk, that kiss, 'It meant nothing.' Jacoby stood there, arms stretched out before him. Wanting Lionel there. She stumbled up the bus' steps & hid in the bathroom. Jacoby stood there.

"I fucked up." Jacoby said sally before walking off. Car keys in hand.

***

Lionel finally emerged from the bathroom, she stumbled blindly through the bus. She came to her bunk bed & slowly crawled in, she hit something cold & immediately pulled away. Lionel grumbled, & reached for it.

"A guitar?" She murmured & rubbed her eyes. She dragged her fingers up the neck, fumbling with the strings. "Electric. Wait, what's?" Lionel squinted at the freshly polished black guitar, she saw something silver on it. She flickered on the lights, hissing as it burned her oversensitive eyes. Lionel smiled at the signature from Jacoby Dakota Shaddix. Last night's events flooded her memory. 'How am I to face Kelly?' She thought.

***

"Lionel." Tobin's voice broke through the silence, it sounded strained. Lionel drew back her curtains from her bunk, she looked at Tobin, guitar resting on her lap. "Jacoby- car- freeway-" Tobin couldn't finish his words before he broke down at Lionel's feet. Lionel bit back tears that needed to fall. That needed to prove she CARED.

"Tobin- when?" Lionel said setting down the guitar, & cradling her friend on the carpetted floor. Tobin held onto her as she rubbed his back, she wasn't crying but Tobin could feel her shaking just as violently as him.

"215 north, why was he out? He promised not to drink & drive!" Tobin said hysterically. Lionel shushed him, her eyes red with unwanted tears.

"He promised..." Lionel muttered into Tobin's hair. Lionel hated Jacoby from that day on.

~

But, who was Lionel kidding? Jacoby was her heart & soul, there was no just loving him, there was no just hating him. Lionel finally understood the tattoos on his knuckles 'Love, Hate.' There couldn't be one without the other... same with Jacoby & Lionel...

**Author's Note:**

> Papa Roach ~ Walking Dead


End file.
